So now, with most of the BAD out of the way… let’s get to the good. In some ways, Two worlds has more environment nuance than Oblivion or Morrowind. What I mean is that (example) there are woodcutters, and trees that are chopped down. Many little touches like this exist, and they are very nice.

Dungeons are a bit drab however, ranging from the “cave” environment (rock) to the stone wall texture, and are typically just hallways or large rooms with an occasional treasure chest. The game has many different environments, from forest to desert, bamboo forests, islands, (mystery island is fun), creepy foggy marshes, to a scary burnt atmosphere with smoke. The fog can get a bit old though. I am not even sure there are any monsters in the water. I doubt it.

The interesting part is that there is quite a bit of leeway in the game, where it is not always about killing (like Christmas: kill a tree, turkey, pig… human…) use a resurrect spell (mercy!) and you can go about bringing former opponents back to life. (Or, towns with dead people in them – usually. It does not work on snakes, rabbits, dodo’s etc.) Baddies will not always fight for you, sometimes they just lay around, so they might need… encouragement.

Point of note here: It is unlikely you are EVER going to find another game where Orcs climb into the same bed with a human! Some 3 -4 to a bed. Ha, ha, ha! I laughed when I saw that one. But, I can’t tell you how it happened…that would spoil the fun.

So - there is some interesting exploration in the game, and lots of finding new ways to approach a problem, or even just ‘screw around’ with the AI to get pure comedy. Monsters – I keep finding more types – each can require a different strategy, although many are often straightforward. My personal favorite has often been summoning a Golem to fight for me, and then freezing the opponent in place with a spell like Dead Hands – as a monster will freeze like a statue. It’s even a bit funny. There are any number of spells with what can only be described as having a cartoon-y outcome for a creative type.

It’s especially funny to go into a dungeon and kill a few skeletons, then resurrect them, and then watch a complete mass mayhem battle ensue… (they fight for you) keep resurrecting ones that die, and the fight can get downright huge. It’s worth going into a dungeon just to do. (If they keep coming after you, run away a bit, and they will stop. But, mummies won’t) If a fight lasts long enough, ghosts will start to show up, and then it’s really on – a 3 way. There is nothing like watching the mummies fight the skeletons. Meanwhile, all you need is some popcorn.

There is also a spell that can make opponents mad and confused, and pick a fight with buddies. This is great for getting a 3 way started too. While they fight, go get a few others nearby to lead in… heh, heh.

It’s really not a terrible game, and has a lot going for it, once you get used to it. It is also QUITE large, and well realized. Maybe the graphics are not “superb”, or the sound, or the cut-scenes. It’s not like Dragon Age, (“top shelf”) but that is a good thing – (I could not WAIT for that game to end, I found it b-o-r-i-n-g. So boring I finally just quit.) I felt like I was stuck on a train the whole trip.

Two worlds allows for a bit more imagination, like Morrowind. Where Oblivion put some real limits on players – somehow forgetting that it was a GAME, and HOW we choose to be entertained is up to US. While it seems great to try and “kill the cheats” as it were, it then becomes all about a player being obedient to the developers’ whims, and not about FUN, which is WHY WE PLAY.

FUN???? WHAT A SHOCK!!!

This game is a LOT more open-ended than that, and that is probably WHY so many like it, despite some flaws. I am all for “no cheats” in multi-player – but single player? How can you cheat yourself? Achievements are basically worthless anyway. Well, they are to me.

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I have been playing Two Worlds for about a week now, and originally – I had played the demo and didn’t like it, at all. Mostly this was due to the camera, and it’s wonkyness, and that it also seems to be one of those where the game world CAMERA revolves around YOU, and not you around it. Not sure how else to explain that…. but it’s weird, and I have seen it before. The camera is also seems a bit ‘stuttery’, but one can get used to it after awhile… but it remains something that could be improved.

So, I tried again, (for lack of any other RPG to play that looked interesting) I made a bit more effort. The camera view is 3rd person with several zoom levels, and one that is “1st person” , but I am not so sure you can fight in that view. It is like Oblivion in many ways: Extensive caves, places to explore, many enemies, side quests, weapons, inventory, skills, fast travel, (horse, fast travel = teleport or portable teleport), etc. Very large in scope.

IF you can get past the camera, and the occasional LOCK UPS (HARD!!!) and stuttery disc access (like Oblivion)… it’s not too bad. Yet, in some ways it’s really more like Morrowind, due to the way battles are handled, hits and overall open ended aspect and possibilities.. Sure is a lot of crap to find, but inventory size is still limited at some point despite a character having massive strength. There are more weapons than you can imagine, more armor and armor types too. The best part is combining them with another of the same variety (to improve) or adding magic, to have better equipment. (“Combine”)

Controls by and large are decent, and there are many control based skills to learn and improve (like swimming and horse riding). Although, riding a horse is a bit like steering a crazed log downstream. Magic and melee handle well, although I have not tried archery, I imagine it is a bit like using magic bolts. There are also some smaller skills like shield use, pirouette, etc.

The voiceovers are just crap (hilariously bad!!) along with a so-so-so story. The plot/story is a very corn on ‘roids, it’s not horrible per say, it’s more of an obvious first effort and cheap (budget speaking here) as in ‘cheaply made’. The v/o bit… I mean words like: “Nay”, “prithee”, “verily”, perchance”, “mayhap”…etc. gets old early, but I suppose one can get used to it. The cut-scene animations are just tragic, really. Beyond bad.

Beyond all that, it’s really not a bad game… if you can get past the bad; and as an RPG it is quite massive in scope. If you can have fun (operative word here) then it might be for you.

There is a lot to do, and it can be quite fun. Not bad for an Xbox RPG (barring all I mentioned) with many skills to learn, many UI/inventory things to do like make potions, improve weapons, make magic weapon modifiers, create traps, magic add-on’s like permanent potions, etc. You can keep improving weapons if you find more of them (or buy them). Plus, there does not seem to be a limit on how much magic damage you can add to a weapon either. You make money by selling stuff to vendors… same deal as always.

If you kill a “monster” and are still around come nighttime, well – then you can fight their ghost too. Ever fight the ghost of a ghoul? The addition of ghosts OF dead monsters is (to me) a nice touch, I think. Just when I believe that I have seen every monster there is – another one pops his nasty little head up…. different and new. Keeps things fresh.

Typically monsters only follow you if you run past them for a little ways, and then they will break off… but, if you run a bit, then whack them somehow, they will follow for a long time. I (early on, when I was weak) liked leading them into town and watching them get all beat up. Then (of course) me rich. Bad side here is you need to be aware that you can KILL QUEST givers this way, and it is not that difficult. I lead a cyclops to a quest giver, and he lost in a bad way. Good thing I had already completed that quest.

Some quests are very near, some far, some are all about running around the map, some are just silly…. but I find this typical for RPG’s – often there are “chase the beer” side quests just because of someone’s sense of humor. Regarding travel: The portable teleports are a VERY nice touch, working underground or above ground….if you follow the quest to the end, you should have 3. The horse also helps. Because otherwise, you are walking or running wherever you go. Horses don’t like caves I hear.

The main story has been way too cornball for me to follow, and I am having too much fun beating Orcs and Groms down anyway. Granted, weaker monsters eventually become like the cliff racers in Morrowind at some point, but you don’t have to fight them – you can just run past and they will go back to whatever they were doing

All in all, this is somewhat of a ‘poor man’s’ Oblivion/Morrowind. If you want more of that, then I say go ahead, and put up with a few problems. Lots of game play for a few bucks.

It has been a fairly decent game for a measly $10.00.

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I played a fair piece of Dragon Age, (probably 3/4 the game) and although excessively LONG (I think I recall the game telling me the last time I looked at about 34 hours) I believe it was probably many times that, and long enough to know a few things.

Such as: It is a very ‘old school’ single player party RPG.

It is also what I might call – for the hardcore, as it requires increasingly more effort as the game continues, even on “easy mode”. When the bosses start to arrive, well – be prepared for 1/2 hour or greater fights that will challenge you, whether on ‘easy mode’ or not. It is still good, although, initially, it seemed pretty dull (to me) on “easy mode”….as in WAY too easy. Like, painfully dull, easy. But, it got harder, I assure you. At some point, even some minor bosses were giving me grief.

Out of (an early play estimate – as I didn’t check after that) 34 hours, 28 of them initially seemed to have been staring at cut scenes (well, maybe not, but it sure seemed that way!). Granted, you can skip by some stuff, and get “straight to the pounding”, but will probably miss important info (like WHY you are talking) and any further rewards, quests, etc. But that was very early.

The cut scenes are often forced, and forced perspective “conversational” type. I believe this (the cut scenes) is WHY the game took so long to make, but the actual amount of game play remains (to me anyway) debatable. Many cut scenes are also forced into being when you encounter someone due to the game’s design. So, even more hours of game play get chewed through by the ‘crack infected squirrel’. (*sigh*!) Suffice to say – it is (play wise, feel, etc.) very similar to Mass Effect in many ways, just with an butt-ton of cut scenes. But, typical maps to explore remain a bit linear, with one path through, basically, to the end, even if you can chose other cities to go to whenever.

Add the micromanagement of every detail of your party, making healing potions, traps, poisons, adding runes to weapons, leveling up party members, changing gear… and at some point…it’s a bit over the top. I will add here that you can also pre-program your character (and all party members) to behave tactically in battle specific ways, and you can customize that too. Or, you can easily switch to them and fight using that character. When switching to them they often say “What?”, “Again?”, “*SIGH!*”, etc.

Resolving quests is not so simple as making a ‘black & white’ choice – on one – I decided to go get help, which of course opened up another massive can of worms. I should have just done “x” and left. Suffice to say – all the cut scenes and running back and forth for crap + micro side quests (which can make you feel like someones “errand boy”, sometimes) were getting old and boring. I was (early on) just about ready to quit out of boredom! When was something going to happen? SOMETHING INTERESTING?

Maybe it was because of the “set up” in the story, which although good, smacks a bit of Tolkien in a Steven King train wreck of needless, excessive exposition and detail. Or, maybe it was because so many of the dungeons were so derivative, typical and therefore perceived (by me) as ‘lame’. Note: One potential member of my ‘crew’ – (minor spoiler here) well, he tried to assassinate me (and the crew) so, I killed him. Later I realized he was a potential “joiner”. Whups.

Although – in some ways I like that – choices have consequences.

In an area called the fade, the Game Dev’s at least branched away for a bit, and offered the lone player (no party!) a chance to play multiple characters that were different: like an arcane horror, burning man, a stone Golem and even a mouse. Although, the ogre seems to know you are a fake mouse from far off, it was still novel, and had puzzles, and there are more than one puzzle in the game. I really preferred the Golem, and proceeded to punch the monkey stuffing out of any Ogre that got near me with maybe a bit too much glee. Muah ha ha ha ha!

The monsters – well, there are a great many in terms of variety, and there seems nearly always something new. I don’t mean as in different from the usual “Zombie, monster, demon, terrorist,etc.” (no Nazis, thankfully!) I mean new as in ‘amount of’. Granted, I had just played Fable 2, and had battled werewolves, but not talking ones. Made it more interesting somehow, but the Darkspawn seemed dull to me. By the time I got to the Deep roads, everything looked alike to me, and when Big bosses arrived – I was done, and B-O-R-E-D. Yes, capital letters.

Sidebar:
In one area – I encountered some types that wanted me to die or cut a deal (a reoccurring theme here) and I pounded at them right away, but the game insisted I could not win, no matter how close to that I was, my team always died, suddenly. So…I was forced into the damn conversation. (I’m sorry – If I cannot win, why offer it again? That’s just stupid. Aren’t we done with the whole “learn via endless failure bit” in games???!!!) Well – enough on that.

Again, it’s a very long story, many side quests, and you simply cannot finish this in a few days. I liked the Elven quests the best, although I am not sure why. All the maps are very linear, as is the game play in many respects, but at the end (or backtrack to the beginning) you are free to go where (to an open map anyway) that you wish. I played a Warrior, and had another warrior, and two mages… which meant that any nice treasure chests I found could not be opened. But, if I brought a rogue, well then she required USE of the contents (often arrows) just to survive….which sort of mooted the whole point of looting for me.

Money seems impossible to come by in this game, and I had a difficult time amassing any real amount. An archer will ALWAYS be poor I found early on, because arrows cost large amounts of cash (even party members run out of them, & swords don’t USE ammo). There is special armor and weapons available at various merchants to buy – but you will find plenty of stuff on quests that is as good or better, although – it won’t have much gold value, but it will often be better quality wise.

In camp – you can sell stuff to the Dwarve, and he will actually keep it, which was nice because I had no way to store stuff I might want someday, again. His son also enchants items, something I never found – as in: anyone else who could. Merchants are around as you wander, if you get weighed down – but backpacks cost money (extra space = gold loss) as do tomes of “skill”. Plus, by doing specific quests, you can gain specialized skills.

I suppose before I clock out here I should mention that the voice over quality is very good, and there are many voices you will instantly recognize, whether from TV, movie or anime. Cowboy Bebop’s Spike Spiegel, (Steven Jay Blum), Star Trek’s Tuvok (Tim Russ) and many others. If they are not those people, they sure did a great job of imitation. In the graphics dept. – it’s a bit lacking on the 360, (still, not enough to matter much) although the sound is very good.

Conclusion
All in all it was fun, (though tedious and draggy at times due to the sheer chattyness of characters determined to tell you their life stories) I still found the game somewhat obsessive, playable and fun, if not REALLY long. But, I have also played Morrowind, Oblivion, Fallout, Fable (1 & 2)…. so, I suppose in some way I liked it… mostly. This was the first “party based” RPG though.

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So. I dropped $15 crackers and got myself ‘Call of Duty: Classic”, and here is my basic experience.

First off, one can easily see where “Call of Duty” came from as a franchise. There are a number of frustrating levels in the game, that thankfully were cut as ideas as they made sequels. Cheating spawning bots (right in front of you) are still there though, but far more in this PC ported version by Aspyr. Spawning grenades were not, though. Obviously some moron in marketing came up with that idea, and they have stuck with it like it was glued to their ear. God forbid you stand somewhere for 1/20th of a second! The game, as a throwback ‘to the old days’ is fun nonetheless, so I did enjoy most of it…but some I did not, and irritation is simply not the word I would implement here. Of course, it’s basically a straight port…so, no vibration on the controller, and, much of my “not liking this” falls therefore on deaf ears. Oh well.

My complaints are:
•car level. (try to survive!)
•truck level (same, only worse!)
•truck level (part 2… which leads to… >>>plane level)
•tank level – the Russian tank handles like a real Russian WWII tank! I mean – it is nearly impossible to steer.
•plane level (it’s just the same old boring “artificial game play” – the player MUST keep doing it until they ‘finally succeed at a level that cheats’, and there is no leaving until you do. Games have always been that way, and obviously no WELL DESERVED public beatings have been handed out to the dumb%^$# who came up with that lame-as-all-#&^%ing-#$@& idea. Note: It helps to quit and come back later when you are NOT shouting. Seriously – 1 year of having said implementer’s nuts kicked from Australia to the USA and then the moon through their posterior would barely be a start as a method of rectifying this as a design flaw in SO many games. Plus,I am sure many gamers would love to see the video, or even pay for live coverage. But, I’m probably just bitter.

The truck level, plane level – and several others – well, they are a bit tough for the average player even on ‘easy’ mode, and gets as tiresome as being beaten on with a hammer to the skull. By the time I got through them, I just wanted the whole thing to end, end, end.

My biggest complaint:
I downloaded the DEMO, and played that to the END. So, then I quit and downloaded the game from sheer boredom. But – I had to REplay ALL that crap over again!!! No save file. Gak! So…I quit around 2am, and went to bed.

GUESS WHAT? IT DIDN’T SAVE A SINGLE LEVEL, even though I got achievements!!!! WTH??? Start over!!!!

Then I was pissed – and just put it on ‘easy’ (a good move really, because it got a LOT harder!!!) But, I did it because I was pissed off, and felt like I had been forced to run the stupid rat maze 3 times (which I HAD!!!).

Achievements are fairly easy to get, however. Several you can get on the very first level. Shooting is precise though, and for awhile – there is fun to be had, in the tradition of “Medal of Honor” (Playstation). It runs fairly smooth, although plays a bit like something from N64 or maybe Ps1 in overall “feel”. The game play isn’t bad per say, and Nazi’s go down pretty quick, although health packs are increasingly difficult to find in hardest, (final) levels. Add that there is a “lean” ability as well as ‘crouch’ and ‘go prone’ which does add to game play somewhat, and added control over some battles. In some levels this does not matter much, as the enemy magically knows that YOU are the only one that matters, and will focus on you exclusively, even shooting pointlessly at the wall with a mounted machine gun. (HOW uncommon!!!) At least tanks go down with (typically) with one shot from a panzerfaust. Teammate AI isn’t bad, although they do dumb stuff ‘occasionally.’

It is nice to take a trip down memory lane, as this is a game (COD 1) I had not played. But – I would say it is probably a bit overpriced, something MS typically does – by at least $5.00, maybe $10.00. I mean, really – it’s bargain bin stuff for $1.00 on the PC – let’s get real about this. Sorry MS – but you are slowly going the SONY route, and finding new scams to shake cash out of us, and not offer us completely acceptable value for the money we cheerfully, brainlessly hand over. It’s a historic, wrinkled, decrepit, rat run (get the cheese!!!) and then you are done, and that’s it. Sure – there is ancient, creaky multiplayer – but who cares?

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